Amber Heard One Step Closer to Billions of Dollars

Will Johnny Depp lift his nose from his groupies’ breasts long enough to notice? Amber Heard, 31, just made it Instagram official. She and tech billionaire Elon Musk, 45, are now going steady! Woo hoo!

Heard posted a pic of her and Musk at dinner. In it, Musk has a lipstick kiss on his cheek. Heard captioned the photo with “Cheeky.”

The two are in Australia where Heard is filming Aquaman. Aquaman director James Wan and producer Rob Cowan also joined them for dinner.

I can’t decide who’s doing better. Johnny Depp with his unlimited groupie and model sex, but mounting financial problems. Or Amber Heard with her billions, but no groupie sex.

Musk owns Tesla and SpaceX. His net worth runs about $14 billion dollars which only makes him the 80th richest person in the world. $14 billion dollars adds about 5″ to your dick, just an FYI.

Way back in 2013 Musk tried to set up a “meeting” with Heard. He e-mailed director Robert Rodriguez who directed both in Machete Kills. The two didn’t have a scene together, but Musk was intrigued.

His e-mails asked about meeting Heard. He didn’t call it a date, but c’mon, get real. Heard still was dating Depp at the time which was another reason Musk called it a meeting. Hollywood Reporter wrote:

“If there is a party or event with Amber, I’d be interested in meeting her just out of curiosity,” Musk wrote. “Allegedly, she is a fan of George Orwell and Ayn Rand … most unusual.” Rodriguez and team did indeed set up a dinner, but Heard — who was dating Depp at the time — didn’t show, leading Musk to try again. “Can you send her a note saying I would like to get together for lunch in LA?” he emailed the Rodriguez team again. “Am not angling for a date. I know she’s in a long-term relationship, but … Amber just seems like an interesting person to meet.”

Not sure what’s unusual about liking authors George Orwell and Ayn Rand. Millions of women are interested in Orwell and Rand. Isn’t Orwell required reading? If it isn’t, it’s very relevant right now.

Well, whatever, it worked. Think I’ll e-mail some directors and ask for an introduction to celebrity women. If no restraining orders get filed, I’ll give you future updates.