Caitlyn Jenner Doesn’t Have to Tuck Her Penis Anymore

Caitlyn Jenner’s transformation is now 100% complete. Jenner recently revealed in her memoir that she completed her sex reassignment surgery in January 2017. That means she chopped her dick off.

Jenner wrote in The Secrets of My Life (this book will bomb, calling it now):

“I just want to have all the right parts. I am also tired of tucking the damn thing in all the time.”

She also continued:

“The surgery was a success, and I feel not only wonderful, but liberated.”

Wonder what they do with the spare dicks? In China, they sold off prisoners’ organs to those who needed them. How much does a Caitlyn Jenner model penis go for? TMZ probably thought about anteing up, but even they didn’t want those photos.

According to Jenner, she’ll only talk about the surgery once, and that’s in the memoir.

“You want to know, so now you know. Which is why this is the first time, and the last time, I will ever speak of it,”

We’ll see about that. When publicity is running low, she’ll whip (hehe) this surgery card out and pump up the press.

Jenner decided to reveal the surgery after fans kept bugging her and asking about it. I don’t get that. That’s a really intrusive question to ask anyone. Hey, you still got that dick? Who wants to hear that all day?

As with all surgeries, there were risks, but totally worth it to Jenner.

“So why even consider it? Because it’s just a penis. It has no special gifts or use for me other tan what I have said before, the ability to take a whiz in the woods.”

Just a penis? JUST a penis??? Yea, ok. If Caitlyn feels that amibivalent about her dick, give it up. Besides, try peeing and writing your name in the snow now. Way harder.

Let’s finish with Jenner’s joy at finally being herself.

“I am going to live authentically for the first time in my life. I am going to have an enthusiasm for life that I have not had in 39 years since the Olympics, almost two thirds of my life.”

Dick free and loving it!