You Can Get Dragon Frappuccinos Instead of Unicorn Frappuccinos Now If You Really Hate Yourself

As if Unicorn Frappuccinos weren’t enough, now you can get Dragon Frappuccinos. If you remember (how couldn’t you, it was just a few days ago), Starbucks’ Unicorn Frappuccino promotion had everyone ordering one so they could Instagram their food porn. Or dribble it out their mouths like Katy Perry.

Anthony Bourdain called it the “perfect nexus of awfulness.” The heinous concoction even gave baristas nervous breakdowns.

It’s so popular that stores have run out of the ingredients. I don’t know what the ingredients are, but cynicism isn’t one of them.

Instead, baristas came up with their own creation. The Dragon Frappuccino “uses a Matcha base with coconut syrup, vanilla bean powder, and white mocha and purple drizzle.”

That’s a change from the “an array of flavored syrups and sauces (Starbucks’ Crème Frappuccino Syrup, vanilla syrup, mango syrup, classic syrup and white chocolate mocha sauce), alongside the “fairy powders,” comprised of sugar and food colorings made from fruit and vegetables” that went into the Unicorn Frappuccinos.

Either way, it’s colored diabetes in a cup.

You can only get the Dragon Frappuccino in California stores. Also, it’s an off the menu item. So you have to really hate yourself  to go the extra mile for this rainbow sadness.

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