Jennifer Lawrence Is Totally Marrying Darren Aronofsky This Summer

Jennifer Lawrence is reportedly ready to marry Darren Aronofsky this summer in Paris. Except, probably not.

“Jen told her closest friends and family that Darren is ‘the one.’ After only a few weeks of dating, she was already talking about marrying him!” snitched a source.

Bravo for saying that the source snitched. You just ensured that the source will now get stitched.

I still don’t think Lawrence is ready to settle down and have kids, but this snitching source ensures me that I’m wrong.

“Jen adores Darren’s son Henry, and spending time with him made her realize she wants to be a mom. No one would be surprised if she’s pregnant by year’s end.

“Jen’s ready for her biggest and most challenging role yet — becoming a wife and a mother!”

Welp, that settles it. Jennifer Lawrence will be married and pregnant by the end of 2017. Guess I should give up on that dream. Best of luck to the happy couple and their new family.

  • Mare

    So, who is she blaming for any hurricane for every other hurricane in the past?

  • Bill Miles

    Wow. There is not one word in the quotes you gave that supports the title of this post. Donald Trump doesn’t believe in global warming. Although it doesn’t cause hurricanes, it does make them worse because warm waters cause stronger ones – and people voted for him, which in her mind means they voted for someone who doesn’t want to fix it. That is all. Horrible article.

  • bumpper

    Two years. Nine months pregnant and fifteen months with the baby before returning to work. Her current significant other likes to knock up his flames so why not this immature girl?

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