A Lot of Very Rich, Very Wrong People to Attend Gwyneth Paltrow’s Wellness Summit

It’s almost like being rich and white gives people a license to be wrong constantly and have no one care, or something.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle brand, Goop, which is known for peddling $9000 butt plugs and misinformation, is hosting its first-ever wellness summit in Los Angeles.  At the “In Goop Health” summit, a bunch of rich people are gonna hang out with a bunch of trendy bitches that don’t know anything, but can sell them a lot of expensive dumb s**t.

From Vanity Fair:

“We really wanted to put together a program that could change someone’s life,” Elise Loehnen, Goop’s editorial director, told Vanity Fair on a phone call. “That was sort of the abiding thesis. Instead of breaking up the day into multiple tracks—which you might want at something more business-oriented where you are really looking to extract the things that are of value to you—we decided to do a single room, and all be together, and architect the day in a way that we could create a paradigm shift for people or bring things to their attention that they might not have considered.”

That’s a really pretentious new age way to say “we are gonna stick people in a room for a day and advertise dumb things to them.”

It will be a day chock full of assholes selling dumb s**t to dumb rich people. Speakers include Cameron Diaz, Nicole Richie, and Lena Dunham.

Of course, because you can’t have a day of self-important white women wasting their time if Lena Dunham isn’t on board, tickets for this day infomercial run the gamut from $500-$1500.

All those people who paid to be photographed with a cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber got more for their money.

There will be “experiential offerings” on hand, such as a “sound bath meditation,” “crystal therapy,” and a “meditation lounge with hmbldt and aura photography.”

Like, gag me with a silver consciousness raising spoon.

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