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Orlando Bloom Talks About Orlando Bloom’s Penis

Remember Orlando Bloom’s dong pics? Go recollect yourself with his uncensored penis. Check this, Bloom never thought it would get attention. Ha..ha ha..HAAAA. Elle UK asked him about his flapping member:

‘Yes, it was extremely surprising,’ he says. ‘I wouldn’t have put myself in that position if I’d thought it would happen.’

‘I’ve been photographed a million times in a million ways. I have a good radar,’ he says. ‘We’d been completely alone for five days. Nothing around us. There was no way anyone could get anything. So I had a moment of feeling free.’

Note to Orlando: you are never alone. Ever heard of telephoto lenses? Just admit you’re proud of your willy. It’d be like me walking naked around the beach and pointing to my 7″ penis. “Oh this? Ohh, wow…my Speedo must’ve accidentally slipped off. Didn’t think anyone would notice…MY 7″ PENIS!”

The magazine also asked about his break-up with Katy Perry. They split up last month and said they were “taking respectful, loving space at this time.” That relationship moved ultra fast in the beginning. I didn’t even realize they dated a year. Seemed way shorter.

About his split, Bloom says he’s still friends with Perry.

‘It’s good. We’re all grown-up. She happens to be someone who is very visible, but I don’t think anybody cares what I’m up to. Nor should they. It’s between us. It’s better to set an example for kids and show that [break-ups] don’t have to be about hate.’

We’ll forgive Orlando for pretending not to know his dong pics would surface. The dude, 40, grew up without social media and only got on Facebook six months ago. Whaaat? He humblebragged about his popularity…in the past.

‘My mum kept an article from the mid-Noughties that said this kid had been Googled more than anyone on the planet for four years in a row.’ He pauses. ‘And it was me!’

That must’ve been 15-20 years ago. Meanwhile, he’s totally into this aging thing that makes you get all wrinkled and fat and out of work.

‘I’m just waiting for the age lines to get deeper in my face,’ he laughs. ‘I’m excited about the prospect of the next 10 years. Actors do their most interesting stuff between 40 and 50. I mean, fuck – I hope that’s the case for me!’

Translation: more Pirates of the Caribbean films. Bloom is coming to grips with his career. It’s reached a certain plateau. Only a few years ago, he was rumored to be drinking and depressed about how he didn’t get the roles he really wanted. Guess he’s okay with life now.

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