Amy Schumer and Boyfriend Break Up, Plans to Steal Someone Else’s Man Like She Does Her Jokes

Guess morning blowjobs weren’t enough for Ben Hanisch. Hanisch and Amy Schumer called it quits after two years of Hanisch listening to Schumer tell someone else’s jokes.

According to Schumer’s rep, “Amy and Ben have ended their relationship after thoughtful consideration and remain friends.” Since her ex-boyfriend is a furniture designer from Chicago, he doesn’t have a rep to spin this.

Schumer, 35, was last photographed with Hanisch, 30, at the Golden Globes.

Look at him making that funny face. It’s funny right? No, he’s trying to signal his escape.

Schumer was on Howard Stern’s show two weeks ago. There she said about marriage:

“We are talking about today. I love the idea of committing to someone and making that choice and I want to have a family but right now, we are not in talks.”

Schumer’s shtick, among stealing other people’s bits and routines, is talking about sex openly as if sex still shocks people. Like how she went down on Hanisch one morning and he yawned.

“I went down on Ben this morning and he yawned. It was an accident, but we were both just dying laughing…I’m happy, but obviously I was like, ‘F–k you!'”

I’m yawning thinking about this soon-to-be C-list actress. She’s also a racist. Her recent movie bombed and now her man left. Good, this is karma.

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