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Kendall Jenner Ruins Everything She Comes Across

I really thought Kendall Jenner was going to be different. Her long legs made her stand out from her thicker sisters. She actually got a job modeling instead of coasting off of her “famous for being famous” reputation. Unlike the others, she seemed to want some sort of privacy. Well, as much privacy as a model with a reality show could want. I never had a use for Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, or Kylie, but Kendall was worth keeping up with.

It turns out that everything Kendall touches turns to shit and everyone should, in the words of Kanye West, runaway fast as you can.

Kendall’s black magic touch began in 2015.

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show had become appointment viewing for lonely men and great girlfriends. 2011 drew 10.3 million viewers. 2012, 2013, and 2014 all drew over nine million viewers. Every December, CBS could count on people tuning in to see half-naked women walk down a runway while famous singers performed.

In 2015, Victoria’s Secret and CBS decided to add Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid to their model list. While neither were technically Victoria’s Secret models, both ladies had a huge online following and it seemed like a smart move to boost interest and viewers.

The 2015 show drew 6.59 million viewers, almost three million less than the 2014 show.

Maybe there’s more to the sharp drop-off than the additions of Kendall and Gigi. The performers could have played a big role. Maroon 5, Kanye West, Jay-Z, and Nicki Minaj headlined in 2011. 2012 had a superstar trio of Rihanna, Justin Bieber, and Bruno Mars.

2013 and 2014 featured Taylor Swift being amazing as usual.

2015 had Ellie Goulding, Selena Gomez, and The Weeknd.

But 2016 featured Lady Gaga, Bruno, and The Weeknd. Ratings should have bounced back, right? Nope. The 2016 show, once again featuring Kendall and Gigi, drew 6.67 million viewers. Not only were they featured, they were now winged.

CBS and Victoria’s Secret thought they would increase interest by adding two well-known names to the show. Instead, they turned fans against the event.

At least she looked good.

Her dating life hasn’t exactly inspired a ton of hope either. NBA player Chandler Parsons, whom she dated in August 2014, failed to live up to a huge contract and then suffered multiple knee injuries. She dated Jordan Clarkson and he went from starter to the bench. And A$AP Rocky, whom she started dated in the middle of 2016, has yet to release a new album during that time. His last album came out in May 2015. He typically releases a new album every 18 months. It’s been two years and there’s no sign of a new album on the way. One Direction split during the time Kendall was dating Harry Styles. I guess that makes her Yoko Ono.

Kendall Jenner seems like a lot of fun. But dating her appears to be bad for your career.

As is getting her to promote your product.

Now, I’m going to be fair to Kendall here. It’s not her fault that Pepsi decided to make a terrible commercial. Yes, she’s the star of it and she should have known better than to accept the role, but Pepsi should have been smarter. Who seriously thought this was a good idea?

Still, because Kendall is the face of the commercial, she received the brunt of the backlash.

Things didn’t get any better this past week after Fyre Festival, an event Kendall helped promote on her social media, turned out to be the greatest disaster in quite some time. And when I say “greatest disaster,” what I really mean is, “the most hilarious thing I’ve ever read about for 12 hours.”

Poor Kendall. Maybe her ambition was too high. She wanted to get a real job instead of making a sex tape. She wanted to be different from her sisters. Instead, she’s turned into the biggest failure of them all. Kim managed to attach herself to one of the most successful rappers of all-time, Khloe has like 800 different reality shows, Kourtney is sane, and Kylie is taking over the world.

As for Kendall, she’s just hoping she doesn’t screw up putting on her shirt.

playing dress up

A post shared by Kendall (@kendalljenner) on

  • opiul99

    hey idiot, two wrongs don’t make a right. it seems pretty self-explanatory, but let me explain it to your dense ass anyway – if you want to be welcomed in a country, you probably shouldn’t pull the chink eyes, insulting both the Buddha and the entire country’s inhabitants. and if you’re stupid enough to have done that, you should probably apologize rather than whine about how it’s the media’s fault. understood?

  • T.U. A.

    lol try harder next time. First that detergent commercial never made it to any large audience because that company took it down and apologized for what they did wrong. And did you know the one-child policy is no longer in effect?

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