Melania Slaps Away Donald’s Pussy Fingers, Somebody Save Her

Melania Trump is all of us. Donald Trump’s on his “look presidential” foreign tour right now. The two touched down in Israel and exited Air Force One.

When they walked down the tarmac, the Donald held out his hand, most likely for Melania to hold. That’s what married couples usually do. Unfortunately for the Donald, Melania slapped that hand away and just made the Internet cream their jeans.

Check out the slap heard ’round the world.

Of course, now the White House spin will be that it was a low-key high-five.

Twitter can’t contain themselves.

This isn’t surprising. Melania probably cries herself to sleep at night and wishes she could travel back in time to Slovenia when she never met Donald.

Melania wants nothing to do with Donald’s shrimp fingers. This wasn’t the first time.

On March 17, first lady Melania Trump…strode across the White House lawn with her husband, Donald. With the press corps photographers snapping away, the 46-year-old Slovenia-born stunner smiled for the cameras as the billionaire, 70, awkwardly reached for her hand and clutched the tips of her fingers.

Once the obligatory photo op was complete, she, Donald and their 11-year-old son, Barron, boarded Marine One, POTUS’ helicopter, which whisked them away to their Palm Beach, Florida, estate, Mar-a-Lago. Aboard the chopper — and away from the public eye — Melania dropped the act. And Donald’s hand. “Melania,” a family source alleges in the new issue of Us Weekly, “does not keep hidden from everyone around her how miserable she is.”

I wonder if Donald’s hand leaves grease marks.

Also, if you believe in conspiracy theories, here’s one you’ll love:

Supposedly, divorce papers were signed between Melania, 46, and Donald, 70, prior to the election. Then he won and now she’s stuck. At least that’s the fantasy so many people wish is true.

It’s not surprising people would think this. There’s so much news about these two and their marriage.

Like how they don’t sleep together and stay in separate bedrooms. And no, I don’t mean separate bedrooms because one lives in the White House and the other lives in New York City.

Multiple sources claim that the former fashion model — who’s currently living 200 miles away from Washington, D.C., in NYC’s Trump Tower while Barron finishes the school year — refuses to share a bed with Donald even on the rare occasions when they sleep in the same city. “They have separate bedrooms,” says another Trump insider. “They never spend the night together — ever.”

Whatever it takes to scrub Donald’s penis from her mind.

Look how far apart they stand. Somebody wants out.

Vanity Fair had another story on this fake marriage.

Melania’s unhappiness and the couple’s apparent lack of closeness are becoming more noticeable. Despite assurances from her spokesperson, Stephanie Grisham, that Melania is embracing the role of First Lady, most signs point to a distinct lack of interest. And while Grisham says Mrs. Trump plans to move to the White House once their son, Barron, “finishes out the school year,” there have been indications that she is in no particular rush.

Melania is so dead inside by now.

Updated: 5/23/17 1:37 AM PST

Better clip of Melania repelling shrimp fingers below.

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