‘Shark Tank’ Better Be Careful They Don’t Turn Into ‘Celebrity Apprentice’

Shark Tank is on a slippery slope by naming these newest guest investors for season 9. They include Bethenny Frankel, Richard Branson, Sara Blakely, Rohan Oza, and Alex Rodriguez.

To sum up their achievements:

Richard Branson started Virgin Records, Virgin Airlines, many things Virgin.
Sara Blakely started Spanx, the women’s underwear company.
Rohan Oza invested in Vitamin Water, Pop Chips, and Vita Coco.
Alex Rodriguez dates Jennifer Lopez.
Bethenny Frankel was on The Real Housewives of New York City.

They’ll rotate in with regular investors Daymond John, Kevin O’Leary, Robert Herjavec, Barbara Corcoran, Lori Greiner and Mark Cuban to find the next multi-million dollar business like Scrub Daddy (courtesy of Lori G.).

Two of the new guest investors will make you do a double take: Alex Rodriguez and Bethenny Frankel. What investing experience do they have?

You’ll remember Rodriguez as the needle in ass, disgraced home run hitter from Major League Baseball and current Jennifer Lopez fling. Unless Shark Tank plans to feature companies disrupting the steroids industry, what’s Rodriguez’s expertise gonna be?

Then you have Bethenny Frankel. You know the name from The Real Housewives of New York City reality show. That’s her claim to fame. Granted she made $8m off her Skinnygirl Cocktails that she sold (don’t believe the $120m figure that’s floated around the internet), but again, she’s more a reality star.

Shark Tank achieved its success by pairing successful business entrepreneurs, the investors, with undiscovered entrepreneurs having great ideas and products. The magic that it creates is showing that the American Dream still exists (or perpetuating that myth, if you’re cynical). How does Alex Rodriguez, a cheater, and Bethenny Frankel, a reality star, do that?

Also, the judges have a real camaraderie. They may get at each other’s throats during the show, but it’s playful. Are you gonna get that with Alex Rodriguez? That dude has the personality of a stone. Frankel is a rich turd pouring drinks on people because her view of Coldplay’s Chris Martin is blocked.

ABC probably wants to mix up the format, throw in some new blood and prevent the show from becoming stale. Throwing in new sharks starts the show towards the land of Celebrity Apprentice. More and more celebs turning the show away from why everyone loves it and towards reality TV garbage.

How well did Ashton Kutcher and Jeff Foxworthy do? They were guest stars on the show, but no one cared because they didn’t fit.

The people who participate on this show don’t want to gawk at celebrities. They want real advice and investments from real business figures. Bethenny Frankel and Alex Rodriguez aren’t those people.

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