Taylor Swift Has Learned Nothing and is Still Dating Brits

Oh Taylor, I love you, but when will you learn? British guys are no good for you. Harry Styles, Tom Hiddleston, John Mayer, and Calvin Harris. How did those work out? And yeah, I know Mayer is American and Harris is Scottish, but Scottish is close enough to Brittish and Mayer has probably done a fake British gimmick at some points.

According to The Sun, Taylor is now dating Joe Alwyn, some unknown British actor that lives with his parents. Yeah, this should end well.

Taylor has been taking private jets, renting a house in London, and walking around in a disguise to keep her romance under wraps. Even her new neighbors had no idea. And this is why you shouldn’t date British people. They obviously aren’t that bright if they were tricked for months by wigs and scarves.

Taylor wants to keep her love life out of the public, unless of course she’s writing hit songs about it. Can’t wait for her new single “Dinner at Mom and Dads'” about this relationship. Don’t keep him out too late, Taylor. Wouldn’t want him to break curfew and have his allowance taken away.

  • gem2477

    Nah. The song is so immature and outright stupid that Kanye is probably somewhere laughing his ass off.

    • Thao Truong

      dont be jealous…that song basically says it all. its genius…how else is it breaking record…if it sucked then everyone would say so….revenge comes in everyway and she got hers by being top of the list…lets see all her haters get there like taylor did. NOTTTT

      • gem2477

        She could have released a track of her farting and it’d be #1. With her, that’s not a good demonstration of if it being a good song.

      • BigJimSlade

        It’s genius? It’s not even music.
        This generic crap wouldn’t have managed to be a B-side on a Madonna single 20 years ago.

  • AussieDan

    Remember when Taylor wrote poppy country songs…?

  • Shawn Cicero

    wow people are nutty stalkers

  • Mithrull

    Pretend to like her fans? Bwhahahahahahaha you are fucking pathetic.

  • Moise

    who the hell are you guys? no names, just jealous of her fame and success. But who can blame you? You do this for green.

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