Taylor Swift Has Learned Nothing and is Still Dating Brits

Oh Taylor, I love you, but when will you learn? British guys are no good for you. Harry Styles, Tom Hiddleston, John Mayer, and Calvin Harris. How did those work out? And yeah, I know Mayer is American and Harris is Scottish, but Scottish is close enough to Brittish and Mayer has probably done a fake British gimmick at some points.

According to The Sun, Taylor is now dating Joe Alwyn, some unknown British actor that lives with his parents. Yeah, this should end well.

Taylor has been taking private jets, renting a house in London, and walking around in a disguise to keep her romance under wraps. Even her new neighbors had no idea. And this is why you shouldn’t date British people. They obviously aren’t that bright if they were tricked for months by wigs and scarves.

Taylor wants to keep her love life out of the public, unless of course she’s writing hit songs about it. Can’t wait for her new single “Dinner at Mom and Dads'” about this relationship. Don’t keep him out too late, Taylor. Wouldn’t want him to break curfew and have his allowance taken away.