ESC

United Airlines Asks That You Pee in Cups Now

Airlines or cable companies, who gets more hate? Everyone despises both, but airlines have been trying reaaaally hard to become the worse industry in the world. They give you Sophie’s choice. Either get beat up or they’ll kill your pets.

Now comes another horror story. Meet Nicole Harper of Kansas City, Missouri. She had to pee bad, but United Airlines attendants wouldn’t let her. Harper said she told them that she had an overactive bladder. That didn’t seem to register with United.

Harper explained in a Facebook post that she told the attendants she’d either need to use the restroom or pee in a cup.

So, United gave her a cup. Haha.

Was it one of those tiny dentist cups? That would be horrible.

When she got the cup, Harper told them, “I’m going to need a second cup.” I can’t imagine what this looks like, a passenger handing piss-filled cups to attendants while they hand her back empty ones. Meanwhile, passengers around them hoping turbulence doesn’t cause all this urine to slosh over everyone.

Again, a passenger literally peed in a cup on United Airlines. I have no idea how she peed in a cup with passengers all around. I need one of those Taiwan animation recreations to fill in the blanks.

According to Harper, even though the seat belt signs were on, the flight attendants had let other passengers up to use the restroom.

After peeing in a cup, Harper said United further humiliated her by finally marching her to the back bathroom.

The flight attendants treated me like I had committed a crime, stating they would be filing a report, calling in the hazmat team to clean the entire row (let me mention there was no mess involved) and told me I would need to talk with the pilot after the flight! I guess they would have preferred me to pee in the seat?

Of course, United went to their pre-written apology templates and pulled out the one addressing paying passengers forced to relieve themselves in cups.

Customer safety is always our first priority. Initial reports from the Mesa Airlines flight attendants indicate that Ms. Harper attempted to visit the lavatory on final descent and was instructed to remain seated with the seat belt fastened per FAA regulations. The situation as described by Ms. Harper and our employees is upsetting for all involved. We have reached out to Ms. Harper and our flying partner Mesa Airlines to better understand what occurred.

That statement doesn’t address Harper’s claim that other passengers could freely use the restrooms without peeing in cups.

If I had to pee and some flight attendant handed me a cup, I’d also shit in it out of spite.

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