Val Kilmer Admits to Cancer and a Fat, Floppy Tongue

Val Kilmer outed himself. As a cancer survivor. Why he had to hide this, I don’t know. Perhaps to avoid more people asking about it.

During a Reddit AMA, one Redditor asked:

A while ago, Michael Douglas claimed you had terminal cancer. What was the story behind that?

Kilmer responded:

He was probably trying to help me cause press probably asked where I was these days, and I did have a healing of cancer, but my tongue is still swollen altho healing all the time. Because I don’t sound my normal self yet people think I may still be under the weather.

I’d hate to have a swollen tongue. My guess is that it feels like a fat, tiny fish flopping around in your mouth.

His swollen tongue raises so many questions.

Like how does he lick ice cream? How does he go down on a woman? How does get all those tiny bits of food out after eating?? THAT’S the real AMA there.

The dude still has one of the coolest Twitter feeds and his celebrity stories are epic. They’re good because he’s not afraid to speak his mind.

Notify of

1 Comment
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
fuck you
fuck you
5 years ago

F**k whoever wrote this.