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The Cosby Jury Really Needs to Think About It for Some Reason

Why is there still news coming out about Bill Cosby? We know he did bad stuff, and his defense was a checklist of rape myths. The defense rested after the testimony of just one witness, and Cosby himself is too unstable to testify on his own behalf. The only thing left is for Cosby to continue to look like a lunatic. Oh, and for the goddamn jury to come out with the verdict.

Seriously, the trial itself took a week. The jury has already been sequestered for half that length of time and came back deadlocked. That means at least one person is still holding out. Who? Who’s bravely standing up for Bill Cosby? Trials, especially celebrity criminal trials, can take a long time. Jury deliberation doesn’t have to.

It’s already public consensus that Cosby is a scumbag. It’s the most basic go-to joke for comedians who want to pick a universally despised public figure. Hell, it’s even been the go-to basis for jokes by comedian Bill Cosby. Even he thinks this is hilarious. Oh wait, that’s incriminating too, not to mention gross and creepy.

Seriously jury, what’s your problem? Maybe the trial wasn’t convincing enough, someone needs to buy them tickets to a Cosby comedy special. I’m sure that would help them arrive at a verdict real fast.

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