Halle Berry Is Not Pregnant, She Swears

Halle Berry has a bit of a belly. That’s cool, it happens to all of us.

But maybe it’s because… no, she’s not pregnant. She’s definitely not pregnant.

“Can a girl have some steak and fries?” she Instagrammed. She’s absolutely right, that sound delicious. And she’s totally not pregnant.

It would be odd for the 50-year-old actress to suddenly be shy about her family. She does already have two kids. Seems a bit late in the game to suddenly get shy about it. She’s not dating anybody right now, and she’s not married.

She divorced her husband Oliver Martinez last year. And her other husband Eric Benet in 2005. And she divorced her other other husband David Justice in 1997. Plus she broke up with her longtime partner Gabriel Aubrey in 2010. She’s not seeing anyone right now and she’s definitely not pregnant.

It sounds like all those serious relationships ending hasn’t done a lot to bring stability to the Berry household. All those exes do not get along. The last thing Berry wants to do is add another kid and another ex to the mix. That’s going to make holiday dinners even more awkward.

It would be one thing if the baby daddies were nice guys, but no, it sounds like they’re a bunch of assholes. So I say, more power to ya Halle. Enjoy your steak, and your fries, and your Oscar, and your Razzie, and your two kids, and keep on keeping on.