Justin Bieber Made a Friend in Post Malone

Justin Bieber, the musician so dreadful that the singers of “MMMBop” compared him to an STD, made a friend today. No seriously, Justin Bieber is so vile that someone not hating him is newsworthy.

Post Malone, a rapper of some sort, is this new friend. I have no experience with Malone’s music, but he’s either the nicest guy in the biz, or the biggest ass-kisser. He appeared on the H3 podcast, and was recording having a Facetime conversation with the Biebs.

“I think YOU have the best smile in the game. I think you are the best singer in the world. I think you have beautiful abs… I think you have a beautiful soul.”

Malone said this. To Justin Bieber. There is recorded proof. Are… are they in love? No seriously, no one has anything nice to say about Bieber. Fans who pay to go to his lousy concerts think he’s a loser scumbag. But here comes Post Malone showering him with praise. Bieber had this to say in turn:

“This is the beginning of not only your success in your artistic world, but you have so much to gain in your private life and your relationships… You are such a kind person. You make me feel good. And I love you.”

What the hell is going on?