Katy Perry Ranks Her Sex Partners

Ironic good girl Katy Perry likes to pretend to be bad. Her feud with fellow pop star Taylor Swift is sort of pathetic. When she flashes a little bit of skin, it’s usually by accident. But when she was a guest on James Corden’s show, he asked her some questions that (gasp!) got a little bit naughty.

Corden asked Perry to rank her exes by sexual performance. She gave three. Ranked number one was Diplo, followed by John Mayer, and coming in last was Orlando Bloom (via E!).

I guess I’m grateful to hear that Diplo is gifted in bed. The dude doesn’t have a lot else going for him, and his name sounds like a children’s toy.

I can’t imagine Mayer being anything other than a selfish lover, but Perry seems so self-involved that maybe she’d be into that?

As for Bloom, last place seems about right. The only thing wooden about that guy is his performance as an elf prince.

Missing from Perry’s rankings? Recent ex-husband Russell Brand, who I bet is an absolute firecracker in the sack, though his dirty talk probably sounds like its in a foreign language. She’s still miffed that when they were getting it on, Brand wasn’t even thinking about her boobs, he was thinking about other boobs.

Also missing from the list was the most attentive lover Perry ever had: the dude groping her in the Starstrukk music video. The schmo seemed to know a good thing (or two) when it was right in front of his face.