Red Alert! Beyonce Might Be In Labor
The Dark Lord has taken over the Republic, and now the Queen may be giving birth to twins. This may be the dawn of a new hope.
Beyonce has been conspicuously removed from the public eye throughout her recent pregnancy. Except when she controls the story, because Beyonce is more powerful than mere mortals. When the Queen is not Lemonading, she’s been carefully releasing pictures of her body. Well now it may be time.
The internet has sort of fansourced this rumor. You’ve gotta assume that among Bey’s trillions of fans (as in everyone on Earth and then some) some of them must be smart people. By bringing together a shocking amount of evidence, they may have cracked the baby code.
Clues include:
- Increased security presence
- Rumors that she’s been admitted to an L.A. hospital
- She doesn’t have any shows scheduled for this
- But Jay-Z does have a show booked (but he wants to be as far away from gross baby stuff as possible)
- If they’re born this week, her twins will be Geminis, which would be awesome
- We’ve suffered enough as a people, and its time for the birth of our twin saviors.
It’s happening. We’ve enjoyed her public pregnancy this long. Now its time to find out the names of our future rulers.