Today was the fired FBI director James Comey’s hearings before the Senate. If you think that sounds dry, you must have missed it because Comey made Donald Trump sound like Christian Grey if Christian Grey’s mouth looked like my cat’s asshole. No seriously, check out this excerpt (emphasis mine):
“The President and I had dinner on Friday, January 27… He had called me at lunchtime that day and invited me to dinner that night, saying he was going to invite my whole family, but decided to have just me this time, with the whole family coming the next time. It was unclear from the conversation who else would be at the dinner, although I assumed there would be others…
It turned out to be just the two of us, seated at a small oval table in the center of the Green Room. Two Navy stewards waited on us, only entering the room to serve food and drinks.”
Oh my Donald. What happened next!?
I guess TV personality Spencer Pratt was expecting more salacious details, but Comey’s dry testimony left him bored. He inflicted that boredom on the internet with a tweetstorm that would have done the president proud.
Comey would be good at feeding hummingbirds pic.twitter.com/GVL8gVESpA
— Spencer Pratt (@spencerpratt) June 8, 2017
I'm so jealous of comey with all these paps pic.twitter.com/JoVJPs4kXF
— Spencer Pratt (@spencerpratt) June 8, 2017
"Not a question I can answer in open settings" is my new go to
— Spencer Pratt (@spencerpratt) June 8, 2017
Is this a 21 minute show or 43min without commercials
— Spencer Pratt (@spencerpratt) June 8, 2017
The producers gotta give this cast some more drinks
— Spencer Pratt (@spencerpratt) June 8, 2017
I wanna eat a burrito in a scif
— Spencer Pratt (@spencerpratt) June 8, 2017
Fame goals af pic.twitter.com/lVldnQFxQt
— Spencer Pratt (@spencerpratt) June 8, 2017
President comey 😂😂😂
— Spencer Pratt (@spencerpratt) June 8, 2017
Damnnnn he just snitched on the professor
— Spencer Pratt (@spencerpratt) June 8, 2017
Everyone fired deserves a committee
— Spencer Pratt (@spencerpratt) June 8, 2017
Hope is really the theme here
— Spencer Pratt (@spencerpratt) June 8, 2017
Didn't Obama trade mark hope tho
— Spencer Pratt (@spencerpratt) June 8, 2017
Sorry Spence, looks like we’re going to have to wait until Comey’s tell-all erotic memoirs to get the full story.