ESC

Aaron Carter’s Excuse for His DUI Makes Total Sense

On Saturday, July 15, Aaron Carter was arrested in Georgia for a DUI and charged with possession of marijuana. And because Us Magazine had nothing better to do but to play the stern mother, they conducted a sit down interview with Aaron Carter where they had him explain himself. Much like any child trying to justify their bad behavior, Carter spun the most inane tale that one could think of. It’s like his publicist told him the more mundane the explanation, the more believable it would be.

You see, Aaron says the whole thing started when he decided to buy a cheap car because he didn’t want to waste money on rental cars. But this car. This… devil car was a lemon. The alternator was shot and it kept dying like pieces of our soul with every lie Aaron tells.

As luck would have it, it had once again died forcing him to call AAA. But the thing is, all the windows were down and couldn’t be rolled back up because there was no power. So like a gentleman, he put his girlfriend in the back of the car while he guarded it all night for 8 hours. Unfortunately, you’ll have to use your imagination as to why he waited 8 hours for AAA instead of, I don’t know, calling them again or calling someone else.

Anyway, part of the interview cuts to Aaron going to Autozone “to see if he could do anything about it because he just got a new tire put on the car.” Wait, what? The interview then jumps to police telling Aaron to step outside of the Autozone after a concerned citizen called them about him swerving all over the road.

Aaron “invoked the right to speak to his attorney” and “ignored” it. He says the cops knew exactly who he was. Which is amazing because when I looked at that picture the first words out of my mouth were, “That’s Aaron Carter?! Who’s Aaron Carter again?”

Cops then asked if there was anything illegal in the car to which Aaron told them about the marijuana. Carter says he has a license for it and doesn’t even drink alcohol. Well, maybe a sip of a beer. But just light beer. He can’t even drink an IPA! Anyway, he wasn’t under the influence that day. I mean, he smoked 9 hours before, but that should have worn off by then or whatever. And he only smokes for his pain and to increase his appetite. It’s medical! These pigs are just out to get him!

In lighter news, he also explains why he looks like a zombie who hasn’t eaten in months.

Leave a Reply

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Latest
Load more