Rob Kardashian’s former fiancée Blac Chyna will be seeking a restraining order against him on Monday. Chyna is represented by celebrity lawyer Lisa Bloom, which somehow seems fitting when you consider how we heard of these people in the first place.
If you haven’t been following this story, I envy you with every fiber of my being, but I’ll do my best to recap for you. First, Blac Chyna sent Rob Kardashian a video of her in his bed with another man, which Rob posted to Instagram. In response, Instagram closed his account, so he reposted the video and some nude pictures to Twitter. The idea that the most shameful thing associated with the name Robert Kardashian used to be the OJ Simpson trial seems almost quaint at this point.
If Chyna receives her restraining order, and it’s likely she will, it would prevent Rob from being near her physically and probably from posting any further private photos of her to the internet. In a fair and just world, the judge would also decree that neither of these clowns gets to be famous anymore, but alas the defense of free speech is often a double-edged sword. And who hasn’t been inclined, at one time or another, to take that sword and stab themselves through the heart with it to avoid hearing yet another story of yet another Kardashian doing yet another stupid thing in front of millions of people?
Who would have thought Rob would be the most embarrassing Kardashian? Well, I mean this week. I guess I really just mean late this week. Although the week isn’t technically over yet, so there’s still time for someone to top him. Maybe Kylie and Kendall Jenner can sell shirts with their faces screen printed over images of the Kennedy assassination or something.