ESC

Soccer Team Bonds Over Handjobs

Imagine Tom Brady jerking off his linemen. That could be a problem. It certainly was an issue for this Brazilian soccer team.

Sport Clube Gaucho are a Brazilian third-division side who haven’t been relevant since they briefly made the first division in the 1980s. That changed, though, when four players had their contracts rescinded after a video showing one of them jerking off two of his teammates in the club showers leaked.

Huh, the team’s marketing department really thought outside the box for this viral video. If they wanted publicity for their team, they sure got it. Whoever proposed this video to the team deserves an award. “I’m gonna need two volunteers…to be jerked off by a third volunteer…all to be filmed by a fourth volunteer.” Think of the views!

The video is, how shall I put this, very graphic and very NSFW.

Once club president Gilmar Rosso heard about this, he kicked off all four players from the team. Not because of homophobia or anything. Seriously, it wasn’t. They were kicked off the team for doing it on club property. But marketing told us to do it!

“The only thing we have to answer to is the making of the video inside the club dressing room.”

Rosso added that he wanted to protect the players from potential heckling. Well, there’ll definitely be a lot of that.

Rosso also said:

“When I hit play, I deleted it, I think it’s disgusting. Outside business hours, we have nothing to do with the situation. If they want to get drunk, [be] gay or not, that’s their problem.”

Whoa whoa whoa…some guy jerking off two other guys makes them all gay now? I believe that’s called team bonding.

[Image: Deadspin]

Latest
Load more