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Kid Rock Announces Senate Run Because Why Not

Because things aren’t terrible enough in American politics, Kid Rock announced on Twitter that he’s going to be running for the Senate. Which would probably be less of a disaster than making Donald Trump president, but it’s still not ideal.

Presumably, Kid Rock would be challenging Debbie Stabenow, one of the country’s least popular senators, who is seeking re-election in the 2018 midterm. Despite Stabenow’s seemingly low job approval numbers in Michigan (47% approve vs. 38% disapprove for a net +9%), she has represented Michigan for three terms. Also bolstering Stabenow’s chances is the fact that she might be running against a middle-aged man who still calls himself Kid Rock.

The politics surrounding Kid Rock’s run are incomprehensibly complicated. Donald Trump is perhaps the least popular president in US history, and that generally bodes well for the electoral chances of the opposition party in midterm elections. But Trump was just as unpopular last November when Hillary Clinton’s utter ineptitude as a candidate allowed him to win three states that no Republican had won since 1988 and with them the presidency. No one who follows politics should underestimate the ability of Democrats to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, even against someone as ridiculous as Kid Rock.

America does have a history of electing celebrities to higher office, presumably because we already know their names. This has been met with mixed results overall. Al Franken, formerly of Saturday Night Live, has turned out to be one of the most popular and hardest working members of the Senate, and Arnold Schwarzenegger did a serviceable job as governor of California. On the other hand, Donald Trump is president and he’s less respected internationally than Emmanuel Macron, a man with a mommy fetish who fancies himself emperor.

Thankfully for us, there are several layers of bureaucracy and democracy between us and Senator Rock. According to CNN, he has not registered his campaign with the FEC before making his post to Twitter, so he isn’t actually running for anything yet. After that step, he’ll have to run in the Republican primary against people who are actually qualified to hold office. And if he manages to win that, there’s still the general election against Stabenow, who presumably has a more coherent message than “Well, I’m packin up my game and I’ma head out west / Where real women come equipped wit’ scripts and fake breasts.”

  • Nate Fanfare

    Why hasn’t hepatitis already killed this fat fuck yet?

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