Lena Dunham Can’t Even Not Own a Dog Properly

I’m not sure Lena Dunham has ever done anything without trying to turn it into some sort of public ordeal. Her latest ordeal has seen her get into a public feud with the Brooklyn Animal Resource Coalition, or BARC, over the alleged behavior of Lamby, a dog she once compared to a Jewish boyfriend.

According to Dunham, Lamby was violent and aggressive, having been mistreated by several previous owners. A few years ago, Dunham posted a picture to Instagram of her in a pair of bloody panties, which she attributed to a bite on the bum from Lamby.

Like her show Girls, her account of the incident was a bit of a mess. She said the dog had only bitten her twice, and both times it was because she was crying. She also said that the reason he bit her was that he was startled by the doorbell. It is possible that Dunham’s doorbell rings with the sound of her softly weeping, which wouldn’t really be out of character of Dunham.

Dunham recently adopted two new dogs and decided it was time to give Lamby away and left him at a dog rehab called Zen Dog, which was presumably then nominated for “Most Insufferably Named LA Business – Pet Division.” Of course, this has been accompanied by several social media posts of the woe is me variety.

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It's come to my attention that the staff at the shelter where I adopted Lamby have a very different account of his early life and behavioral issues than I do. While I'm sorry to have disappointed them, I can't apologize. Lamby was and is one of the great loves of my life. When I met him I knew we'd have an amazing journey. But his aggression – which was unpredictable- and his particular issues, which remain myriad, weren't manageable, at least not by me. I did what I thought the best mother would do, which was to give him a life that provided for his specific needs. He'd been with me for nearly four years and I was his mom- I was in the best position to discern what those needs were. After countless hours of training, endless financial support and a lot of tears he was given access to a better life. I still support him financially and I'll always be there for him in every way but he's notably happier in his new surroundings. Why should this story be subject to scrutiny and anger? It is willfully misunderstanding the truth. I hope those judging can imagine the incredible pain of letting go of your favorite creature on EARTH because you know you can't help them be healthy and happy. I would never say an unkind word about the staff of BARC, what they do is amazing and life saving for these animals- but we have different accounts of Lamby's behavior and they were not present in my home nor did they live with him for an extended period. They did not witness the consistent and responsible care I provided. I have weathered a lot of micro-scandals but this one hurts MOST, because of the vulnerability of letting people know Lamby and my story, and because I miss him so damn much. This is the painting that greets me every day when I walk into my home. This is the animal who taught me about loving and letting go. I know I'm a lot of fun to place your issues on, but I won't let anyone hang their hat on this peg. Not this time.

A post shared by Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) on

To be fair, Dunham makes these sorts of social media posts almost as often as she writes herself nude scenes for no reason. This post caught the attention of the previously mentioned BARC, who disputed almost every facet of Dunham’s account. A spokesperson said that Lamby had no history of abuse, as claimed by Dunham, and only a single previous owner. The BARC also pointed out that Dunham had violated her adoption contract by giving Lamby away instead of returning him to the no-kill shelter to be evaluated and rehomed.

I suppose no one but Dunham knows what Lamby was actually like at home. I don’t think anyone can blame a dog for becoming agitated around Dunham. She agitates me and I just have to read her social media posts. And honestly, if Lena Dunham were casually changing clothes in front of you, you might also go to extremes to get her to stop too.

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