Anna Faris Is Lonely Because Chris Pratt Is Off Making Movies

Is it sexist to say Anna Faris is lonely because Chris Pratt is a successful movie actor now? As if Faris is the housewife home alone taking care of the kids, while Pratt is off partying with studio execs and groupies. Perhaps, but it’s also the truth.

Pratt and Faris have destroyed everyone’s idea of love. Now, we get more details. Or at least more guesses.

First, no affairs, nothing like that happened. Faris and Pratt have been together for eight years. When they first started dating, no one knew Pratt, but everyone knew Faris. Then Guardians of the Galaxy dropped. Pratt’s the huge star now, A-list celeb. As for Faris, she’s starring in Mom. Swear to god, never heard of this show until I IMDB’d it a minute ago. It’s been on for five years too. Wow, kinda proves my point.

Since Pratt is gone, Faris is left alone, watching their son Jack, acting and doing her podcast (excellent podcast btw). Without Pratt, Faris admits to loneliness without him. On her podcast, she didn’t specifically address Pratt, but talked about being a public figure.

I play a character on MOM, I play a character in movies, but I also play a public character. There’s definitely a loneliness and, like, an internal element to being a performer. I feel like I have to laugh…

I play a public character. I laugh loud sometimes — maybe too loud but it is a public character sometimes. Like, if I have a red carpet thing or whatever, which I’m never comfortable, but I’m always like, ‘I’m fine!’ And it never feels like me.

Anna Faris the actress is in conflict with Anna Faris the person. According to TMZ, she wants a traditional family. Pratt, on the other hand, doesn’t want more kids right now. He’s trying to keep this acting thing going.

Our sources say Anna wants a family that is pretty much together most of the time. She wants a base … which for her has been Los Angeles. We’re told she wants more kids. The upshot … Anna wants a traditional family.

Chris, on the other hand, has had some life-changing experiences that has required him to adjust the balance between family and career. When he married Anna back in 2009, she was much bigger than him. He’s now at the top of the Hollywood food chain, and with that comes opportunities that take him all over the world, shooting movies that take him away from home for months at a time.

If these two can’t make it, there’s no hope for you and your chili-stained shirt. Or blouse.

Pratt and Faris both grew up in Washington, both are similar ages and have similar backgrounds. They each understand Hollywood, what it takes to be a working actor there and how to survive there. It’s like when they say a near-death experience, like a plane crash, brings people closer together. That’s Hollywood, a real bonding experience.

But now Pratt and Faris are breaking up.

God is dead.