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Bryan Cranston Scared Children by Having Sex on a Train

I watched a video yesterday of a New York couple having sex on a train. It came across my timeline. I wasn’t as disturbed as I thought I’d be. I just figured it happened all the time in New York because New York subways are legit the worst place in the world and nothing that happens in them is all that surprising.

Bryan Cranston has his own train sex story.

It took place in 1989 on his honeymoon. Cranston and his new bride were on their way from Switzerland to Italy when they decided to get a little freaky on the train that was carrying them. This decision came based on the advice of their travel agent who said, “By the way, the third tunnel is 50 minutes long. It’s tradition for honeymooners to take advantage of that time.”

Cranston and his wife, Robin Dearden, tried to do the deed, except that the third tunnel didn’t last 50 minutes.

“All of a sudden within a short period of time I start seeing the features of my beautiful wife’s face, and I’m thinking my eyes are getting acclimated to this,” Cranston shared, before adding that the train entered “broad daylight” while they were both completely naked.

And now we know why no one uses travel agents anymore. They’re all liars.

This ruined the childhood of the kids in the car in front of them. Cranston said that their grandmother looked appalled. She was probably just jealous. And a little upset that she would have to explain to those kids what was going on. That’s the job of the parents. Not the grandparents.

Once they were exposed, Cranston said, “My gorgeous wife says to me those three words you always want to hear: ‘Get off me.’”

In reply, Cranston had three words of his own.

via GIPHY

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