Chris Pratt and Anna Faris Split Because One Was Always Funnier

Hearts around the world broke on Sunday night when Anna Faris and Chris Pratt announced that they were splitting after eight years of marriage. I’m still not over it. In the aftermath of the most devastating split since Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert, news is starting to trickle out regarding the issues the two were having.

None of it will come as a surprise.

According to Page Six, Faris and Pratt have been having issues for a year and a half. Most of it stems from Pratt now being the big movie star and Faris being a sitcom television star. When the two started dating in 2007, Faris had starred in the Scary Movie franchise, Waiting…, Brokeback Mountain, and a handful of other successful films. Meanwhile, Pratt was in a movie called Weiners.

Things changed in 2009 when Pratt landed a big role on Parks and Recreation. He became a star and landed roles in Zero Dark Thirty, Guardians of the Galaxy and Jurassic World.

The two are reportedly very competitive, even going as far as wanting to be the funniest at parties. A source said, “They get very insecure when they aren’t (the funniest).” This is why I married someone who doesn’t do sarcasm and isn’t all that funny. I always win that competition.

This news certainly puts this story in a whole different perspective.

The source also said, “He’s also very, very religious, and she’s not religious.” That just seems like something a source would say to add fuel to the fire. The fame and competition stuff I can buy because that’s an ebb and flow that changes on a daily basis based on who is doing better. Religion is constant and they made their religious differences work for eight years of marriage and five years of raising a kid.

This is all still very heartbreaking to me. If Anna and Chris can’t make it, who are we to have a chance? I swear if Kristen Bell and Dax Sheppard get divorced within the next year, I’m going to lose all faith in love.