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Hollywood Is Finally Making The All-Girl ‘Lord of the Flies’ Remake Absolutely No One Wanted

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Warner Brothers is about to make an all-girl version of Lord of the Flies.

Warner Bros. is planning a gender-bent adaptation of the iconic William Golding novel Lord of the Flies.

Scott McGehee and David Siegel will write and direct the new take on the story, which follows a group of young boarding school students that end up stranded on an island and devolve into pre-pubescent savages over the course of the novel. Harry Hook directed a 1990 version of the story, while a 1963 feature was helmed by Peter Brook.

I think the first question we should ask is “who actually wants this movie?” And the only answer I can think of “studio executives who are deathly afraid of new ideas and saw that Wonder Woman did well”. I mean, everyone knows Lord of the Flies, we all read it in eighth grade along side A Separate Peace, but did anyone actually like either of those books? It’s the sort of thing people call “important” and “a classic” but never “good”. It doesn’t seem like the sort of thing people will be lining up to see.

The Internet agrees with me that no one wants to see this, but for a bunch of different reasons. And seeing the reactions people had to this announcement is literally the only interesting part of this story; the movie itself will come out, be terrible, and maybe just make back its budget, but probably not.

My favorite takes go in a category I like to call “has never worked in an office with women”:

Yes, young women are all perfect, loving, caring mothers who never bully other girls until they commit suicide because they wore last season’s shoes or something. This was not lost on other Twitter users.

Of course, some people had explicitly sexist reactions, because some people are fucking dumb. Imagine caring about this enough to get mad about it:

Okay, I admit, picking a Ben Shapiro tweet to point out people are saying stupid shit on the internet is borderline cheating, but if he doesn’t want to be made fun off he should say fewer stupid things. He wasn’t even the first person to make that lame joke.

Meanwhile, others just thought the idea was stupid in general:

I’m in the last camp, by the way. Hollywood generally runs on a dearth of creativity, and when something does well, studio execs fall all over each other trying to copy it. This is why there’s a new super hero movie every month. Obviously execs are getting the message that people want to see films lead by women, so they’re just going to remake a bunch of movies with all-women casts with no regard for quality and advertise it as a win for feminism. Which was exactly what didn’t work for the Ghostbusters reboot, because no amount of love for women can overcome a Paul Feig script.

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