ESC

Dumbass Millionaires Forget to Pay $14 Tax Bill and Now Someone Bought Their Street

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a bunch of rich idiots in California, presumably on their way to goat yoga, had the street they live on sold off because their property taxes on said street were in arrears. I’m going to be honest, this story, first reported by the San Francisco Chronicle, makes me so happy for a number of reasons. So let’s dig in and savor it.

For starters, Presidio Terrace was a segregated neighborhood right up until the Supreme Court made it illegal to only sell houses to white people. And now it’s owned by an Asian dude who is going to charge them a fee to park on his street.

Secondly, the tax bill that the homeowner’s association failed to pay was only $14 a year, and the city didn’t sell it until they had failed to pay it for thirty years. According to the homeowners association, the city had been mailing the bill to the wrong address all these years. This seems to be unlikely to be a good enough excuse, as any homeowner can tell you you’re responsible for paying your property taxes even if the bill gets lost in the mail.

“I was shocked to learn this could happen, and am deeply troubled that anyone would choose to take advantage of the situation and buy our street and sidewalks,” said an anonymous millionaire after a long day of exploiting the labor of the working class in order to enrich himself, now distraught at the idea that some outsider may charge him for parking. Let’s just hope the new owner doesn’t enforce a top hat and monocle fee or these residents might go bankrupt.

But my favorite part is this quote from Michael Cheng, who, along with his wife Tina Lam, now owns Presidio Terrace. “We could charge a reasonable rent on it.” That is a simple but savage statement. Let’s all shed a tear for the millionaires in a gated community who now have to pay for parking like poor people.

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