Tom Wopat, who played Luke Duke on The Dukes of Hazzard, finds himself in a heap o’ trouble after being arrested for indecent assault, battery and drug possession related to an incident where, according to TMZ, he stuck his finger between a woman’s butt cheeks.
According to the police report, obtained by TMZ, Wopat was rehearsing his show, “42nd Street,” at the Reagle Theatre in Waltham, MA on July 23 when a woman on the set claims he walked behind her and she felt his hand grab her butt. She also says she felt his fingers go between her butt cheeks.
She complained to one of the honchos about the incident, and Wopat was confronted. According to the police report, he denied touching the woman and said, “F*** them all.”
Apparently, after Wopat was fingered as being the ass crack bandit, police found two baggies of cocaine on his person and in his car. No word on if police checked to see if the gas tank was full of moonshine.
The arrest comes as a shock, as I understood that while the mountains might have gotten Wopat, the law never would. He’s just a modern-day Robin Hood who takes from the rich and sticks his finger up women’s buttholes without consent.
Patton Oswald once again won the day on Twitter, with this gem:
Tom Wopat's in trouble with the law? If that don't beat all you ever saw… https://t.co/pOI1KsHq8t
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 3, 2017
And shortly after he follows up with this.
Oh my God did I predict this? https://t.co/vIsYNpjkLq
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 3, 2017
This second tweet is a reference to Oswalt’s first comedy album 222, in which he, imitating legendary Hollywood producer Robert Evans, rambles off the following (fictional) story as part of a commercial for the NFL on ESPN:
Tom Wopat loved the 3 F’s: food, fun and fisting. We took Gil Gerard out on my cigarette boat on Memorial Day Weekend 1978 and I swear to you over those sweet, savage 72 hours he turned that poor man into his personal finger puppet.
I’d just like to say Wopat’s behavior stinks. Really, what he did was pretty shitty. Waylon Jennings would roll over in his grave, but he probably considers it better to stay on his back, considering.