Val Kilmer Misses Public Events So He Must Be Dead

Last October, Michael Douglas informed the world that Val Kilmer was battling throat cancer and that he wasn’t long for the world. Ten months later, Kilmer is still here so suck on that Michael Douglas.

Unfortunately, every time Kilmer misses an appearance or leaves his house, everyone freaks out and says that he’s going to drop dead tomorrow.

Kilmer’s latest health scare comes following the actor dropping out of events at the last minute.

At the end of July, the Top Gun actor pulled out of Comic Con in Tampa Bay and the opening of his own art exhibit in Los Angeles. Kilmer cited “family stuff” as the reason for missing Comic Con and being “delayed on a project” for not appearing at the art opening.

Tampa Bay Comic Con said it was “certainly very last minute for a cancellation.” Probably because they’ve never dealt with a star as big as Val Kilmer. I’ve been the local Comic Cons, the biggest star is usually a wrestler or a Game of Thrones extra. Certainly not Batman himself.

Of course, this all means that Kilmer died yesterday.

What it really means is that Tom Cruise needs to hurry the hell up with Top Gun 2 because if they make that movie and Iceman is not part it, then I will personally see fit that it flops at the box office. Two years ago Kilmer talked about Top Gun 2 and it’s been more delayed than Detox.

I swear if Tom Cruise makes another terrible movie that no one asked for like The Mummy before Top Gun 2, I’m going to go insane.

For the record, Val Kilmer is still very much alive and feels the same way I do about these health concerns:

I’m sure it’s nice that people are concerned, but maybe the man really does have family issues. We’ll probably never know the truth until he does another Reddit AMA.

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