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Victoria Beckham Is So Butthurt By A Chip Shop Taking The Piss She Might Sue

Former Spice Girl and current fashion designer Victoria Beckham is mad that a chip shop in England made fun of her. I suggest she strap in, because I plan on making what they did look absolutely flattering in comparison.

Beckham, whose actual name no one would know if she hadn’t married the world’s most famous soccer star, took issue with a caricature that described her as an “anorexic fashion icon” that Sidhu Golden Fish and Chips used to advertise its thin crust pizza. Seriously, did you know her last name was Adams before she married Becks? I’d wager you didn’t even know her name was Victoria before that. Most people just called her “oh, that other one. You know, the least hot one.”

The chip shop claims that its thin crust pizza is only 2mm thick, which it describes as being thinner than Victoria Beckham. The pizza is also probably a better singer, or at the very least just as good with Auto-Tune turned off. The pizza wasn’t in Spice World, so it’s got that over Posh, as well.

Victoria Beckham is actually considering suing the Tyneside restaurant, with a spokesperson stating: “it is highly inappropriate to trivialize such a disorder, and defamatory to be so thoughtless with a person’s reputation in this way, therefore we are taking legal advice”

I don’t think a chip shop poking fun at you is quite as damaging to your reputation as suing a chip shop for poking fun at you is. British defamation law states that “a statement is not defamatory unless its publication has caused or is likely to cause serious harm to the reputation of the claimant”. Victoria Beckham and her husband have a combined net worth of over half a billion pounds (roughly 650 million US Dollars), so I think she’ll weather the storm of having a regional restaurant putting an unflattering cartoon on the back of a delivery van. She survived being the least talented, lest attractive Spice Girl, after all. Quick, name a Spice Girl other than Geri Halliwell who isn’t famous for being a WAG. Couldn’t do it, could you? I couldn’t even think of the name of the one I had a crush on as a teenager, and she was on Absolutely Fabulous.

Marg Oaten, co-founder of the anorexia charity Seed and someone who is in no danger of being called anorexic, said “The advert puts people at genuine risk. Those who suffer from eating disorders are constantly battling with their feelings and thoughts. They will see the advert and start comparing themselves to the size of Victoria Beckham. These people need to be brought to account. There should be legislation banning this kind of thing.” It’s hard to take the idiot cake in a story about a millionaire suing a restaurant that sells fish and chips in Tyneside, but Marg has absolutely clinched it. Result! No one who sees that ad is going to want to look like Victoria Beckham because of it, Marg. Also, I think there should be legislation against calling for everything you don’t personally like to be illegal, only no I don’t because that would be ridiculous.

I’m not a lawyer, but I can’t imagine Victoria Beckham’s potential lawsuit being successful. A few years ago, before England reformed its defamation laws to prevent exactly this sort of silliness from succeeding, maybe. But now, Posh and Becks will just have to cry themselves to sleep on an Uncle Scroogian pile of money from the pain of knowing that someone is making minimum wage driving a delivery van that’s a bit cheeky about her.

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