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Walmart Blew It with This Back to School Ad

Hey kids. Get all your back to school shopping done at Walmart. They have everything you need to own this school year. Pencils, paper, lunchboxes, binders, rulers, and guns. Guns? Yes, guns.

Hey, you can never be too safe in school. In fairness, if you did bring a gun to school and prevented another mass shooting, you would be a hero.

Walmart Twitter, which is really just a guy sitting at home in front of his computer searching “Walmart” and reading replies and not anyone with actual authority, replied.

Given that Anthony’s tweet has no location (his Twitter bio doesn’t even have a location) and he admitted that the picture wasn’t his, I can only assume that Walmart Twitter called every single Walmart manager to see if their store was guilty of this poor sign placement. And, based on the timestamps of the two tweets, it only took them 18-minutes to find out which store was guilty. We should get Walmart Twitter to handle every single major investigation from here on out.

Jared was skeptical.

According to my investigative skills (a quick Google search), Store #1341 is in Evansville, Indiana. Oh, things are starting to make sense now. It has a 3.8 rating on Google, which is pretty good for a Walmart. But wait, plot twist.

So was it taken down or did it never exist? Get your story straight here, Walmart. It obviously existed. There’s photographic evidence that it existed. I think store manager #1341 is in some serious trouble. Thou shall rollback prices. Thou shall not lie about mysterious and poorly placed signs.

Another user posted the same picture and Walmart Twitter gave him the same automated “We’re sorry, it’s been handled” reply. But Jordan hit the poor soul who is probably paid less than Walmart employees with a barrage of bullets.

And Jordan was able to get those bullets, along with the gun they came out of, at Walmart. They really do have everything.

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