ESC

B.o.B. Conning People out of Money to Prove the Earth Is Flat

Breaking news: the earth is not flat.

But if you want to pay money to prove otherwise, you can donate to B.o.B.’s GoFundMe. Or, you can pay me to tell you that it’s flat. Sure, I’d be lying to you. But the result would be the same. You’d have successfully wasted your money. At least if you pay me, I can use that money to pay my rent or buy groceries for my family. If you pay BoB, he’s going to use that money to launch satellites into space to show that there is no curve in the earth.

That’s right. BoB is going to use your money to launch satellites into space to take pictures of a flat earth. Even though NASA has spent years launching satellites into space to take pictures of a rounded earth, you can pay BoB to do the opposite. Now, tell me what sounds more important: me having a place to live and food on my table or pictures of something that you can already google?

While this is a stupid campaign set-up by BoB and you’re a stupid person if you donate to this campaign, I admire that BoB is willing to go to these lengths to con people out of money. He’s a famous rapper with millions of dollars, but he’s willing to lie to people and spit in the face of scientific fact just to see if you’re willing to believe him. The sad part is, he’ll probably raise hundreds of thousands of dollars from idiots who are like, “Yeah, I trust that BoB is going to use this money to launch satellites.”

BoB already tried to disprove that the earth was round when he released a diss track aimed at Neil deGrasse Tyson. But now he’s putting your money where his raps are.

BoB’s goal is $100 million, because launching your own satellite isn’t cheap, ya’ll. Thus far, he’s raised $1,906. But that’s misleading because $1,000 of that came from BoB. I’m not sure which is worse, BoB only donating $1,000 to his own cause when he’s looking for $100 million or that he’s raised $906.

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