Cash Me Outside Girl Signs Huge Record Deal Proving Once Again You Don’t Need Talent in Life

If you’re sick of the “Cash Me Ousside” girl Danielle Bregoli, good news. Like the old Taylor Swift, she’s dead. In her place is Bhad Bhabie, Bregoli’s rap persona and proof that no one listens to music nowadays.

Following the success of her single “These Haeux,” the spelling deficient Bregoli has inked a deal with Atlantic Records, the same record company that produces talents such as Ed Sheeran, Bruno Mars, and Cardi B. I’m sure they’re thrilled to share the spotlight with a girl who failed to speak proper English on Dr. Phil.

The music video for “These Haeux” has garnered over 25 million views on YouTube at the time of this writing. 500,000 people gave it a thumbs up. 300,000 gave it a thumbs down. The other 24 million cut out their eyes after cutting off their ears. The song also put Bregoli at #77 on the Billboard Hot 100, but that’s not that impressive when you look at the list and realize that you’ve never heard of half the songs.

According to TMZ, Bregoli’s deal with Atlantic is a multi-million dollar deal that calls for multiple albums. Little does she know, the money decreases with each spelling mistake she makes. In fact, she already owes the record company millions.

On one hand, it’s pretty sad that this girl is about to be a millionaire with no talent. On the other hand, I respect her hustle. She took her 15-minutes of fame and capitalized on it like few before her. The Chocolate Rain guy is definitely crying himself to sleep every night after reading this news.

I’d say her album, should it actually get released, will be a huge flop, but it probably won’t be. People will buy it ironically and as a joke. Next thing you know, Bhad Bhabie is the highest selling artist of all-time and running the music industry.