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Colorado Springs is Down in the Dumps as Mad Pooper Becomes City’s Number Two Menace

If you think your neighborhood is shitty, let me me tell you about Colorado Springs. A jogger dubbed “The Mad Pooper,” after an episode of Bob’s Burgers, has been taking repeated dumps outside the home of resident Cathy Budde while she jogs, as reported by local news station KKTV.

Cathy Budde says her kids caught her first mid-squat, pants down and unashamed.

“They are like, ‘There’s a lady taking a poop!’ So I come outside, and I’m like … ‘are you serious?'” Budde recalled. “‘Are you really taking a poop right here in front of my kids!?’ She’s like, ‘Yeah, sorry!'”

I am amazed that this is only the beginning of the story. The story of a grown woman just taking a shit in front of someone’s house. While people watched. Two adult humans had a conversation while one of them was taking a shit in the bushes.

Personally, I get annoyed when someone knocks on the bathroom door while I’m trying to dump out. I don’t want to hear people’s voices while I’m on the toilet, I can’t imagine just dropping trou and shitting on a suburban street, much less being like “Hey, how’s it going? Sorry I took a shit in front of your house,” while I was doing it.

What’s amazing is that this lady didn’t stop at one dump.

The family says it was just the first time it actually caught the runner doing it, but it wouldn’t be the last. Budde estimates the runner leaves behind human waste at least once a week. She says “The Mad Pooper” has been at it for the last seven weeks.

Seven weeks! She’s been jogging around, shitting in front of this lady’s house for seven weeks! I’ve barely been dedicated enough to anything in my life to do it for seven weeks. Even things I really enjoy doing I get bored with after two or three weeks, so this jogger must really love taking craps in front of this woman’s house.

The Colorado Springs police have assigned the Falcon division to the case, which sounds like a 1970’s police procedural. “Coming up next on CBS, it’s Falcon Division, starring Dean Stockwell as Detective John Falcon.”

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