Chinese Vendors Have Face Masks To Secure Your New iPhone

The iPhone X was just announced, and with it, Apple has announced technology to unlock your phone with facial recognition. While this feature is completely optional and can be disabled by pressing the power button five times, some people want the security that only dressing like the gimp from Pulp Fiction can provide. Luckily, a number of intrepid entrepreneurs on Chinese website Taobao have got you covered.

According to The Verge, these vendors are already advertising various face masks and sleep masks as a safety measure to keep your iPhone from being unlocked while you’re asleep. Nevermind the fact that someone could just, you know, take the mask off. Or get an elaborate plaster cast of your face made. Or just put your thumb on the home button like a normal person does to get into a sleeping person’s iPhone.

I urge caution when buying anything from these Chinese clothing sellers. Not because they’re shoddily made, per se, but because their clothing sizes run much, much smaller than American and European sizes. I tried to buy a jacket from one of these places last winter and despite getting a size XXXXL, it didn’t even make it all the way down to my waist, to say nothing of fitting across my shoulders. Apparently someone being over six feet tall never occurred to China. So when you buy your full face-covering mask from China, whether it’s to keep your phone secure or just because your wife is tired of looking at you when you make love but only lets you do it doggy style on your anniversary, make sure you buy a larger size than you think you’ll need.