If you had John Mayer and Nicki Minaj in your Potential Celebrity Couples of 2017 pool, congratulations. Get that money.
It all started like 90 percent of relationships nowadays. On Twitter.
I spend an inordinate amount of time per day wondering if Nicki Minaj would like me or not.
— John Mayer (@JohnMayer) September 8, 2017
Mayer, who probably knows someone who knows Nicki Minaj (like Katy Perry), didn’t bother to ask her directly. He instead went the attention seeking route and put it out there for everyone to see. Nicki obliged.
Would my body be your wonderland? https://t.co/jKpRdnhzbD
— Mrs. Petty (@NICKIMINAJ) September 8, 2017
Nicki didn’t exactly confirm or deny that she likes Mayer.
Please hold, losing my s**t. This isn't my reply yet.
— John Mayer (@JohnMayer) September 8, 2017
And Mayer didn’t exactly confirm if Nicki’s body would be his wonderland.
Mayer has tweeted since he “lost his s**t,” but none of them have been directed at Minaj. I guess he’s still trying to figure out the best way to answer a yes or no question.
Or maybe he’s having a long talk with his dick and see whether or not it’s still a white supremacist. Yes, that is something he said in 2010 in an interview with Playboy when asked about dating black women:
“I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.”
Of course, the Internet never forgets.
Let’s be fair to John Mayer’s dick. There are two sides to every story. On one side, there is a washed up musician who is notorious for sleeping with the whitest of women. And on the other side, is John Mayer’s racist penis.
Minaj later backtracked on her question.
Asking for a friend 😅
— Mrs. Petty (@NICKIMINAJ) September 8, 2017
We can only assume that she’s asking for Iggy Azalea, who is the white plastic version of Nicki.
Alright, folks. Maybe don’t get your money just yet if you had Mayer and Minaj in the pool. It looks like these two won’t be getting together as long as John’s penis is still covered by those confederate boxers.