Taylor Swift Is Trademarking Everything, Including This Post

Like any good empire, Taylor Swift knows that the way to be successful in business is to trademark anything you come up with. Yes, Taylor Swift is an empire and a business and a person and a singer. Just go with it.

When 1989 came out three years ago, Swift trademarked the phrases “this sick beat,” “cause we never go out of style,” “could show you incredible things” and every other chorus on her hit album. Basically, if you sang any song off of 1989 and made money from it, Taylor could sue you. I think that’s how this works.

With Reputation slated to hit stores November 10, expect a whole new list of chorus trademarks to be filed in the near future. In fact, Taylor has already started. She’s already filed for two trademarks based on her first single “Look What You Made Me Do.”

The first trademark should come as no surprise as it’s “look what made you me do” and the second is “the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now.” I’m so excited to purchase a Taylor Swift burner phone with the voicemail message that says, “the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now.” If Taylor’s team does not market burner phones after filing for this trademark, everyone should be fired and I should be hired in their place.

According to a Mashable report, these trademarks are going to be put on “magnetically encoded gift cards, reusable shopping bags, ornamental cloth patches, shoe laces, and bathrobes.”

I’ve already purchased two “look what you made me do” bathrobes that I can’t wait to do a striptease with to the song “Look What You Made Me Do.” The chorus sounds like “I’m Too Sexy,” making it the perfect strip tease song.

If you’re made about Taylor filing these trademarks, just wait two months. You won’t be able to say the word “Reputation” without owing Swift at least a dime.

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17 Comments on "MET Costume Institute Gala 2016"

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Nah. The song is so immature and outright stupid that Kanye is probably somewhere laughing his ass off.


Funny, She sold out 5 nights at the Staple Center for 1989 which seated a total of 86,000 people, She has sold 120,000 tickets in the Rose Bowl so far for the “Reputation”. I doubt he is laughing to loud, he made $31,745,967 on his Saint Pablo Tour, she sold $180,000,000 worth of tickets the first week.

Thao Truong

dont be jealous…that song basically says it all. its genius…how else is it breaking record…if it sucked then everyone would say so….revenge comes in everyway and she got hers by being top of the list…lets see all her haters get there like taylor did. NOTTTT


It’s genius? It’s not even music.
This generic crap wouldn’t have managed to be a B-side on a Madonna single 20 years ago.


She could have released a track of her farting and it’d be #1. With her, that’s not a good demonstration of if it being a good song.


Remember when Taylor wrote poppy country songs…?

Shawn Cicero

wow people are nutty stalkers


Pretend to like her fans? Bwhahahahahahaha you are fucking pathetic.


who the hell are you guys? no names, just jealous of her fame and success. But who can blame you? You do this for green.

Sinead McGowan

ooooh Taylor’s army

Atomic Rat

oh my fucking god !!!!!!

she’s so existential… she’s so multidimensional… she’s so fucking awesomely…. banal and pedantic.

So you really don’t have to have anything one the ball other than a good PR firm and a fair agent to be a success as a pop star.

I didn’t believe them. It’s still hard to believe.


That girl is too high maintenance and a loon.

Atomic Rat

Sailor Twit – the rally face of the nazi generation.

Nice one. The one trick pony and the goosesteppers.

Sieg Heil, frau Taylor. I see you’re on to your next crossover genre.


“Except, anyone can join. Even if they are not, wait for it, fans of Taylor.” How would a phone app know whether or not someone is a fan of Taylor Swift? What’s it going to do, read all your archived text messages to see if you talk about Miss Swift with your friends and determine if you said positive or negative things about her?

Perry de Havilland

“Taylor has been criticized by just about everyone for not speaking for or against Trump”

Yeah Taylor is missing a beat here, I mean we all just *love* to be lectured by sage-like showbiz celebrities about politics, right?


1/3rd of the country supports being mean and fueling drama, while the other 2/3rds has had enough. So Taylor’s drama filled, passive aggressive, mean girl behavior is no longer tolerated by most. Most of us had enough of Taylor & people like her.

Thai Wu

No doubt she will sell out if her rich father and rich close business connections buy them up to save her REPUTATION.

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