$60,000 Worth of Sex Toys Stolen, Epic Party About to Go Down

A band of merry men and women in London just got a bit merrier as $60,000 worth of sex toys have been stolen. The box of toys was stolen from a company called Fun Toys London.

Someone point me in the direction of that party.

Jack Romanski, a not so fun representative for Fun Toys, said the company had just completed an exhibition in Berlin. When they were set to load up their products, all of their boxes had been destroyed and their merchandise was gone.

Oh, it gets better.

In the middle of the company meeting with the police, another four boxes were stolen.

Maybe don’t leave $60,000 worth of sex toys unattended around people at a trade show that sells sex toys? I place the blame squarely on the shoulders of Fun Toys London. They got what they deserved. They spent all day selling people on their product and thought it was smart to leave the product unattended. Of course people are going to steal that s**t. You spent all day saying how great it was. They either bought it or were pissed that they couldn’t afford it. Well, now they got it for free. Idiots.

I hope the thieves are a group of swingers having the most amazing party in the world this weekend. You guys have earned it. Go crazy.

Fun Toys has asked shoppers to report anyone selling sex toys unauthorized. And then report yourself for buying sex toys from an unauthorized dealer that you don’t know. Those people could have used the toy, decided they didn’t like it, and then tried to sell it to you. Don’t take that risk. Buy authorized or steal from an authorized dealer.

This is being called the biggest sex toy heist in history. It will remain that way until someone makes a 20-foot dildo and that gets stolen.