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Fiona the Hippo Photobombs Wedding Proposal and Are We Supposed to Feel Something?

Everyone’s getting faint over Fiona the Hippo “photobombing” this couple’s wedding proposal.

Riiiight, Fiona the Hippo just happened to be there when¬†Nick Kelble proposed to Hayley Roll. I call fake news. Kelble most likely kneeled there longer than Colin Kaepernick, just waiting for Fiona to show up. Now, he’s viral! That’s the cynical side of me.

But let’s pretend this happened for real. That rude queen Fiona has to make this all about herself. What a dumb sea hog.

She keeps doing stupid things to stay in the news like any smart celebrity.

She recently farted in the water.

An actual fart! Yet when I do it in the swimming pool, it’s a health hazard?? That’s discrimination against humans.

She acts like a baby hippo!

Wow, so cute. Her wrinkly neck, her cute little ocean hooves. Just wait until she grows up and eats you because climate change means she has to leave the water and walk on land for food. Not so cute then.

She might end up going crazy like Harambe who dragged a 3 year old into his cage. Harambe coincidentally lived at the Cincinnati Zoo, much like our lovable pea-brained Fiona.

Haha, look at Fiona, she’s asleep in her tray. Lazy bum.

I could substitute any hippotamus for Fiona. Would anyone know the difference? No. Just like no one knows that Avril Lavigne is really dead and was replaced by an actress.

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