Mark Wahlberg Asked God to Forgive Him for Pulling Out a Fake Dong in ‘Boogie Nights’

At an event last week in Chicago with Catholic Cardinal Blase Cupich, Mark Wahlberg said that he prayed for forgiveness from God for doing Boogie Nights. No word on if he asked for forgiveness for subjecting us all to “Good Vibrations” in the 1990’s when he was a rapper and called himself Marky Mark.

The Chicago Tribune covered the event where the Cardinal and Wahlberg spoke onstage to over 1,000 people last Friday at the UIC Pavilion. And things got pretty Jesus-y.

Being jailed as a teen, he added, was a “big wake-up call for me. A lot of people go to God when they get into trouble. When I heard the jail doors close behind me … I knew that was just the beginning for me.

“I feel remorse when I’ve made mistakes. If I could go back and change a lot of things that I did, I would. I look for ways to give back.”

And when an audience member asked him and Cupich how they learned to forgive themselves for their own mistakes, Wahlberg joked to Cupich, “I’ll take this one — I don’t think you’ve been locked up!”

Good one, Marky Mark! I mean, what crime would a Catholic priest even be accused of, right? Oooh, right, there is that one thing that the good Cardinal was involved in covering up and claims hasn’t happened in 30 years, that might be a problem.

I feel like Wahlberg ought to be asking God for help with his anger issues rather than forgiveness for playing a fake porn star with a fake cock one time. He mentioned having been in jail, but sailed right past how he was in jail for attempted murder, an attempted murder he didn’t feel the slightest bit guilty about. He also said he wanted to beat up Andy Samberg over an unflattering SNL impression and told his daughter he’d murder her and Justin Bieber when she said she had a crush on the Canadian pop star, which is a totally normal thing to tell your child.

So yeah, nearly a thousand people went to a venue to get lectured about how awesome Jesus is by a racist thug and a guy who covers for child molesters. And the thing they regret is a complex portrayal of the turbulent life of an adult movie star in the 1970’s.

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