Miami Dolphins Coach Snorts Coke to Deal With the Pain of Coaching the Dolphins

The Miami Dolphins offensive line is so bad. How bad is it? The Miami Dolphins offensive line is so bad that their offensive line coach does cocaine.

That’s not a bad joke that would get me a couple of courtesy laughs at a comedy club. That’s a real story.

Dolphins offensive line coach Chris Foerster was caught on video snorting three lines of cocaine.

The video was posted by Kijuana Nige, a model in Las Vegas who says that Foerster sent her the video. Given his opening line of, “Hey babe, miss you, thinking about you,” this theory checks out.

Foerster says he’s about to go to a meeting prior to snorting the lines. Did the rest of the Dolphins coaches not think something was a little suspicious when Foerster came into the meeting all amped up? He’s the offensive line coach for a Dolphins team that ranks dead last in offense and second to last in rushing. He should walk into the room like death, not like someone on cocaine.

In light of the video, Foerster has resigned from the team. I guess this will give him more time to snort coke off of Nige’s vagina, assuming he forgives her for posting this video and costing him his job.

Let’s be honest here, Foerster’s biggest mistake was admitting he was doing coke before a meeting. If he never says that, he can say he did the coke during his free time, he regrets his decision, and he hopes to move on. Maybe he still resigns or gets fired, but no one cared that Michael Irvin was doing coke during his free time (and probably before meetings) so why care about an offensive line coach doing the same thing?

Foerster should actually reach out to Jerry Jones and the Cowboys for a job. They don’t have a problem with coke users. As long as Foerster stands during the national anthem, Jerry will welcome him with open arms.