Pole Dancing Is Now a Recognized Sport, Congratulations to 2024 Olympic Gold Medal Winner Sapphire

I’m not entirely sure what makes something qualify as a sport, but if rhythmic gymnastics gets to be one, then I guess it’s not that weird that the Global Association of International Sports Federation has decided pole dancing gets to be one. As reported by The Daily Telegraph, pole dancing and six other sports have been granted “Observer status,” which means it’s provisionally a sport. I guess calling it “provisional status” would be too easy.

The historic milestone means that the International Pole Sports Federation (IPSF), founded by Katie Coates, 41, from Hertfordshire, is now able to apply for membership of the International Olympic Committee.

Yeah, pole dancing could be an Olympic sport. And here you thought beach volleyball was the sexiest of Olympic sports.

The IPSF, alongside armwrestling, dodgeball and a number of other events, now has two years to meet GAISF’s requirements to become a fully-recognised sport.

They include becoming compliant with the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) and increasing their membership across the world.

Now, you might think that making pole dancing, dodgeball and arm wrestling Olympic sports is ridiculous, and you would be correct. Those are all stupid and none of them are sports. But they are far from the most ridiculous things to be Olympic sports, some of which I will now share with you.

The biathlon is a cross-country skiing event where skiers race to a rifle range, fire five shots at a target, and then have to ski an additional 150 meters for each shot they miss. This has been an Olympic event since 1960.

Handball, which is essentially soccer but you hold the ball in your hand and throw it instead of kicking it, thus removing the entire point of soccer, has been an Olympic event since 1972.

Sailing, which is literally just rich assholes racing yachts, has been an Olympic event since 1896.

Curling, which is awesome and I will not countenance any mockery of this sport of kings in my column, has been an Olympic sport since 1998.

So maybe pole dancing would be right at home in the Olympics. Dressage is an Olympic event where you make a horse dance, so why shouldn’t our hard-working strippers get a chance to bring home the gold? Also, a champagne room would really class up most Olympic venues.

[Image: Flickr/Francisco Osorio]

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