Sophie Turner Accepts Joe Jonas’ Promise Ring

We have another report of someone bending the knee. This time, it’s Joe Jonas, who bent the knee for Sophie Turner. The happy couple, who have been dating less than a year, are now engaged.

Everyone is getting engaged from Game of Thrones. The other week it was Kit Harrington and Rose Leslie. This week, it’s Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas. Next week, it’ll be Prince Joffrey and Taylor Swift. What a couple they’d make.

If anything, this is pretty disappointing news. Not because Turner is now off the market, it’s not like any of us had a shot, but because she’s 21 and engaged. To be married. She’s going to be a wife. That means no more boob fondling and sleepovers with Maise Williams. It means no more vagina punching with Jennifer Lawrence.

Nope, Sophie Turner is just going to be a boring old wife who has to say, “I can’t take that photo or tell that story because my husband may get jealous.” That’s what being a wife entails.

Good for Joe Jonas, though. This guy’s list of ex-girlfriends is legendary. Gigi Hadid, Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, Camilla Belle, Ashley Greene (who he lost his virginity to), and a bunch of other models and actresses. He could have reached DiCaprio status if he wanted to. Instead, he’s throwing that away in the name of love.

Now, allow me to be “that guy” that everyone hates because they are pessimistic and no fun. This isn’t going to work. They’ve been dating less than a year, Sophie is 21 years old, and she didn’t know what a blow job was until Game of Thrones.

Her career is just starting. She’s going to be a big-time actress once Thrones finishes filming. And that’s when she’s going to realize she wants to motorboat Bella Thorne and make out with Hailee Steinfeld instead of spending the rest of her life hanging out with Joe Jonas.

But until then, congratulations.

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