Please Don’t Throw Kiwis at Harry Styles

Apparently fans of weirdly unhygienic former One Direction member Harry Styles throw kiwis at him while he’s on stage performing the song “Kiwi”. This seems really odd, because while I’ve considered throwing fruit at Harry Styles, it isn’t because I’m a fan. But it’s apparently a real thing that happens.

It’s actually not a bad song despite clearly being manufactured to be as appealing to the masses as possible. It’s not complex musically, but it’s catchy and upbeat. Apparently his fans love it so much they want him to perform it multiple times at live shows.

‘Kiwi’ mania is so widespread that, as reported by The Telegraph, a Manchester location of British grocery chain ASDA is refusing to sell kiwis to people under 25 years old, which means anyone buying the weird but delicious little green fruit will need ID. You only need to be 18 to buy cigarettes and 16 to buy beer (provided you buy it with a meal) in the UK., for what it’s worth

An ASDA spokesperson said: “We know our customers love Harry Styles and we feel it’s our duty to protect a fellow Mancunian from any ‘bad kiwis’ amongst us. “We’d hate to see a repeat of the mishap this evening, so to avoid any slippery situations, we feel this is a necessary measure.”

I’m assuming this restriction was only in place for the night of the concert and that ASDA isn’t permanently barring anyone from buying fruit. Although I have a feeling that policy may never, ever actually come up, as I can’t imagine there will be throngs of starving college students demanding kiwi fruits who don’t want to throw them at Harry Styles.

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Harry smells great according every fan that ever got a hug. A rag originally published the fake story that Kendall would be complaining about Harry’s hygiene on Keeping Up with the Kardassians, other rags (such as yourself) immediately copied the story, the original rag had to print a retraction of the story, and nothing was ever said on KUWTK show. The whole thing was fake.

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