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Jeremy Piven Sexually Assaulted a Woman With a 15-Minute Dry Humping

Look out, Harvey Weinstein. Jeremy Piven is on a quest to top your sexual assault number.

The Entourage actor’s number currently stands at three, so he has a while to go before catching Weinstein. But don’t doubt the sleaziness of Piven.

Piven’s latest accuser is advertising executive Tiffany Bacon Scourby. Five bucks says Piven used some lame “bacon and eggs” or “let’s sizzle” joke, she gave him a courtesy laugh, and there was no stopping him after that.

Scourby says that she met Piven at a club and he used the ol’ “I’m gonna be a guest on Conan tomorrow night, wanna come?” line on her. That line works every time. She agreed and they met up the next day at Trump International Hotel. Trump International, your sexual assaults are safe with us.

As they were sitting on the couch, Piven forced himself on top of her, exposing himself and rubbing his dick and balls over her. She tried to push him off, but couldn’t. After 15 minutes of dry raping, Piven came on her white turtleneck.

Oh God, I already know what Piven’s defense is going to be. “Do you really think I only last 15 minutes?” Just wait. He’s going to use that line.

After Piven got off, Scourby got out. She ran out the room, wiped Piven’s juice on the wall, and cried in a cab. The incident occurred 14 years ago and Scourby had put it behind her until recently, when Piven’s name was brought up in other sexual assault incidents.

Piven hasn’t responded to any of the allegations, even going silent on social media. A representative for Piven said the actor is willing to take a polygraph test to prove that these women are lying. He’s also pursuing legal action.

Oh, Jeremy. You don’t want to do this. These women aren’t lying. We all watched Entourage. You were a little too believable as Ari Gold and we all know you’re not that good of an actor.

Check back tomorrow when another woman will have accused Piven of sexual assault.

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