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Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Have Every “Getting Back Together” Story Ever

If you’ve been keeping up with this Justin Bieber-Selena Gomez romance, you’ll know that I’m right about everything thus far so you should take what I say as fact.

In the latest update, it appears that Bieber has been pursuing Gomez for months, but it took some convincing for her to finally give him a second chance.

Well, duh. That’s typically how that stuff happens. No one breaks up, texts the ex, “We should hang out again” and gets an immediate, “For Sure!” response. Especially when the ex has a new boyfriend. You have to text them like every day for at least a month, reminding them of your good qualities and how you’ve changed your bad qualities. And you have to give them some nonsense about life being too short and really just play with their emotions until they finally agree to meet you again for coffee.

Have reporters just never been in a relationship and they don’t know these things?

TMZ reports that Selena’s parents were worried about their daughter re-connecting with Bieber, because of course they were. It was a bad relationship and they didn’t want their daughter to get hurt again. I bet they also said, “We don’t like it, but Selena is old enough to make her own decisions.”

They also say that Bieber and Gomez are back together, whether that means romantically or musically. God, I’d hate to know what a Bieber and Gomez track would sound like if they’re both back in love. Their best music came when they wrote songs about leaving each other. Logic says their worst music would be love songs to each other.

Anyway, Jelena is a thing once again. Until a few months from now when they realize they still hate all the shit they hated about each other before, eventually breakup, and reports say, “Selena thought Justin had changed and was willing to give him a chance, but it just didn’t work out.”

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