Christmas Boobs, My Favorite Holiday Tradition, Make a Triumphant Return

Even though I’m an atheist, I do have a few holiday traditions I keep alive during the Christmas season. You know, I have some Christmas cookies, watch my favorite Christmas movie, The Hebrew Hammer, complain about how s**t “Wonderful Christmastime” is every time I hear it at the grocery store, explain to my Australian girlfriend that everything she remembers about Christmas from her childhood is an abomination and you can’t make a snowman out of sand… you know, normal Christmas stuff.

But there’s a fun new trend on social media of women dressing their boobs up for Christmas and posting selfies, which is amazing. Since people seem to be calling this phenomenon Christmas Boobs (personally, I would have gone with Happy Holititties, so as not to exclude our Jewish friends), let’s see what comes up on Instagram.

Wow, those aren’t made up to look like a reindeer but I certainly wouldn’t mind her coming on my chimney. Down. Going down on my chimney. I’m just gonna bail before I dig that hole deeper. But I did find a lead, I want to look for #reindeerboob.

God damn, she is out in public with that. All surrounded by old ladies playing bingo with her boob hanging out… respect.

The black and white really classes that one up.

I know that’s not a real thing but I desperately want it to be a real thing.

Okay, this is actually the second year of Happy Holititties, and I hope it becomes an annual tradition. Like a toddler with a new toy, I look forward to enjoying it for about a day next Christmas.

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3 years ago

“You can’t make a snowman out of sand…” – mae me laugh my ass off :) 10 points for having an Aussie girlfriend. Also, christmas boobs are an abomination, I never knew there was a way to turn breasts into an eyesore – apparently this is how.

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