Florida Opossum Breaks Into Liquor Store and Gets Drunk, Leads Field in 2018 Governor Race

Sometimes after a long day of pretending to be dead and rooting through trash bins you just need to kick back and take the edge off. That’s just what this Florida opossum did when she broke into a liquor store and drank an entire bottle of bourbon because opossums like to party.

According to the AP, the opossum was taken to a wildlife refuge where it was given fluids until it sobered up and it was released back into the wild, proving that even opossums take rehab more seriously than Harvey Weinstein.

Luckily for the opossum it was white, otherwise the police would have shot it while it was passed out for ‘resisting arrest’ and Tucker Carlson would be opening tonight’s show going “Well, it did steal a bottle of liquor, this opossum was no saint” and a bunch people would get mad when an NFL player took a knee to protest the shooting.

After the opossum was returned to the wild, she became a bit of a celebrity on social media.

I mean, not everyone is funny, but nice try, guy.

Apparently the opossum’s celebrity is already encouraging copycats… err… copyrams, I guess. A ram tried to break into a liquor store in Nova Scotia is what I’m saying.

So basically, we’ve got a cute but mindless animal that’s now Internet famous for getting drunk and passing out in a strange place, and she’s already inspiring others to imitate her. Make sure to tune into Keeping Up With The Opossums on E!, coming soon.

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